Hard Times

I've had a hard time during our waiting period, honestly. I'm conflicted about my joy and our daughter's tragedy, my plenty and Ethiopia's want, my desire to mother a daughter and my daughter losing a mother.
This is hard to admit, but I'm having a hard time being happy for people getting referrals. I'm jealous and want it to be us. And when people say "We've been waiting 2 whole months", I have a difficult time mustering sympathy. I've been wanting to adopt since I was 8 years old, we've been in the process for 2 years, we wasted 16 months on a path that didn't work out.
I'm praying for my little girl during this tragic time in her life and in her birth family's life. I find it hard to wish for her to come to us, when it takes a tragedy to bring her here. It feels quite selfish.
I know in my head that God has a plan and our daughter isn't ready to come to us-blah blah blah, but it still stinks. I'm looking forward to remembering this time and laughing about my sorrows. I'm just not there yet...

Thanksgiving 2007

Happy Thanksgiving! We celebrated today over at my mom and dad's (Mamaw and Papaw) as usual. We had a lovely meal, including TURDUCKEN (thanks Lola)! So yummy and lots of leftovers.
The boys played in the mud outside. Uncle DB had to hose off their shoes.
It was nice enough to go for a walk around the JBC campus and the kids got to play in a cool box fort in the new cafeteria. The new cafeteria furniture boxes had been transformed into a HUUUGE box maze fort thing. They loved it and played for over an hour.