East TN Ethiopian Adoptive Families Potluck!

You are invited to join us for a Potluck Lunch on Saturday, January 31st from noon to 4pm at Cornerstone Christian Church. http://www.cccknoxville.com/

We welcome any family interested in Ethiopian adoption, or paperchasing, or waiting, or home with their children. We meet together to support each other in adoption joys and challenges, daily parenting, and mostly to celebrate the birth culture of our precious children.

There is a full kitchen available, bathrooms, changing tables, plenty of toys and running room, and a playground.

Please email me or contact me on Facebook if you need additional information.

I can't wait to see you all again!

Christmas 2008

We have had a terrific Christmas season, celebrating the birth of Christ, and celebrating with our SJ for the first time.

SJ knows what birthday parties and presents are, so she has picked up easily on the concept of Christmas as Jesus' birthday. We did get a strange look from her when SuperDaddy brought the Christmas tree in, that one didn't make sense to her at all! But she quickly joined in the fun and has enjoyed the traditions.

B has enjoyed the creative ways to celebrate, making a gingerbread house, seeing the various Christmas lights the neighbors put up, and helping Mama wrap presents.

Christmas Day brought fun gifts, ALL of the family and several friends over for the day. B's favorite presents were his Indiana Jones toys and his Karate Kid headband. SJ has enjoyed her Backyardigan toys and Wonderpet figures. We had our traditional delicious meal including Ethiopian and Filipino foods. The grandchildren blew out the candles on our Happy Birthday Jesus cake. We took a long walk, exchanged gifts, played Monopoly, and spent the whole day relaxing and talking together.

It has been a terrific time of reflecting on the gift of Jesus and the blessings our family has received this past year. We are especially thankful to have our SJ home this year. God is good.

Because They're Cute

The kids playing together nicely, I enjoyed it while it lasted!

Learning About SJ's Hair

Part of becoming SJ's mommy means I get to learn more about African American haircare. I did research and talked with friends before her arrival, but nothing beats hands-on learning! There's alot of talk about hair on the adoption forums and among transracial adoptive parents. I just want to say, calm down, it's just hair, same as yours- only curlier.

Things to remember:

-every child's hair is different, find what works for your child with experience

-it takes some time to get the hang of it, that's ok

-it takes a while to do a style (45 mins or more), but once it's in, it may last up to a week.

-you don't have to spend lots of $ to have healthy hair, you can if you want, but not required

-ask for help from your AA friends. I've got a friend coming over to help me learn to braid rows and put in beads, I haven't learned those skills yet.

-find what works for your child to sit still long enough for hair time. For SJ, it's Dora shows and Tootsie Rolls.

-keep hair time fun and pleasant, if it's a crying struggle, it'll just get worse next time. If they get to watch TV, eat candy, hang out with a happy mom, hair time is a good time!

What works for us:

Bathtime:

We wash hair about 2x/week, but with conditioner- no shampoo, that's right, no shampoo. We use Tressemme Flawless Curls. It's cheap, smells great, and works well. I put lots of conditioner in her wet hair, and comb it through, leave the conditioner on for the rest of bathtime, then rinse lightly, leaving quite a bit of the conditioner still in the hair when she gets out.

Daily Styling:

Loose hair-I also use the Tressemme Flawless Curls for styling. I spray her hair with water, rub conditioner on my hands, then finger comb it through her hair, I then comb it out with a pick. Loose hair (for SJ) is only good for a day or two, it gets waaaay too tangly and takes a long time to comb out.

Styled hair (braids, twists, puffs...)- Still with the Tressemme. I spray her hair with water, then put a little conditioner on my hands to touch up the style.

Swimming:

For swimming in chlorinated water, I have her wear a swim cap. If it's salt water or the lake, her hair actually feels healthier when she gets out.

Sleeping:

I have sleeping caps (actually stretchy textbook covers, they work perfectly and I got them at Goodwill for 17 cents) that she wears when she's got a style in. It makes the style last longer. She also sleeps on a satin pillowcase, it hasn't seemed to help us much, but might work for you.

All in all, it's been an interesting learning experience. I've enjoyed finding new styles, looking at other little AA girls to get ideas, and seeing SJ's face when she looks in the mirror at the finished style. She just lights up and is so cute!

Our supplies (pictured):

beads

wire to thread beads

barrettes

rubber bands, the ouchless ones

spray bottle

rattail comb to make parts

wide tooth comb

scissors to cut out rubber bands, easier and faster and less tangles that way.

Please pray...

http://azhderianfamily.blogspot.com/
Please pray for this family, I don't know them, but have a burden on my heart for them. They were in process to adopt a daughter from Guatemala and had gotten as far as having the Gautemalan birth certificate listing them as the new parents of this 5 yr old girl. However, she was killed in a home invasion there in Guatemala and had not yet even come to her new home. She was already loved by her parents and siblings, they are grieving their lost daughter. She is with Jesus now.

Something to Think About

A Visit from Belachew!

Today we enjoyed a visit from Belachew and his sweet parents, who were travelling through town on their way home after Thanksgiving.

Belachew and SJ were in the CHSFS Care Center at the same time, we first met Belachew in Ethiopia when we picked up our girl. Cindy and Paul travelled to Belachew about a month after we were there. I called Belachew the "Big Man on Campus" as he strutted around the Care Center confidently and made sure the other kids ate their lunch and followed directions. It is beautiful to see him again now with his loving parents, Cindy and Paul.

The kids played together well and shared muffins and orange slices. We parents shared about our adoption experiences and future plans. We are so thankful for their visit and hope to see them again soon.

http://paulandcindyadopt.blogspot.com/

Thanksgiving Day 2008

1- Uncle Dom taking aim.

2- Jelly and SJ playing under the deck.

3-the 4 B family kids playing in the dirt.

4- SuperDaddy and Uncle Dom.

We had a lovely Thanksgiving Day, celebrating at Mamaw and Papaw's house as is tradition. The food was plentiful and amazing. Uncle Dom joined us this year, which was fun. Our Social Captain, Auntie Jo, was sick so we weren't forced-I mean- lucky enough to play board games. Instead, SuperDaddy brought the bows and arrows and we played outside, took a walk, and enjoyed the beautiful weather.

We were so grateful to have our SJ home this Thanksgiving. She enjoys a good party, and it was fun to have all of the kids together.

Thankful

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, what we are thankful for:

*clean, easily available water

*freedom of religion

*freedom of speech

*food

*SuperDaddy's stable career which provides generously for us, allowing Mommy to stay home

*access to education

*a warm, comfortable home

*our health

*our amazing beautiful children

*our church family

*our extended family who all live close by and help out so much

*friends, old and new, near and far

*God's love and forgiveness

We have been blessed, no doubt.

Caring for Orphans

James 1:27 NIV
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

You can-

-adopt! Really, you can! Domestically, internationallly, fostering, there are many options to bring a child into your family. Consider adopting an older child.

-support adoptive families. Be excited during joyful times, and stand by in the hard times.

-treat new adoptive parents just like you treat parents of newborn birth children. Bring casseroles, celebrate new additions, understand that they are tired, help out with the other kids.

-sponsor a child with World Vision, make Operation Christmas Child boxes, or mentor a child through Big Brothers/Big Sisters. Your involvement will show a child that he or she has NOT been forgotten.

-learn. Read, discuss, travel and explore this world. Open your eyes, heart and mind to those less fortunate.

-conserve. Consider buying less and giving more. Consider giving donations in a friend's honor rather than a gift. Consider giving Fair Trade goods and handicrafts as gifts.

-teach your children. Teach them about children around the world, to be thankful for their blessings, and that they can help too!

-PRAY. Pray that God opens your heart to ways that you can help, pray for these lonely children, pray for the workers who bring God's love.

Cardboard Testimonies

Costume Phase Update!

B is NOT growing out of his costume phase after all. He wore costumes the past 2 days and is getting SJ to wear them too. Yesterday we went to the gym and B wore his Anakin suit with cowboy boots and an Indian headband he made out of leaves. Today he's wearing his Robin suit and put SJ in the Superman suit.

I love his creativity and confidence, 2 of his many fine qualities.

<---- This is a homemade monacle with a toy lens and tape.

A Heavy Heart

As we approach the first anniversary of SJ's relenquishment, my heart is heavy for SJ's First Mother. We had the honor of meeting this amazing woman and it widens the gash on my heart as I think of what she must be going through at this time. SJ's First Mother made the painful choice to give her daughter more than she or her community were able to offer. I pray God gives her peace and the knowledge that her daughter is well loved. And, we will raise SJ to bring honor to Ethiopia and its people. Adoption stretches the heart more than humanly possible, this is God's work.

Photo Tagging!

I've been tagged by Janet, http://philjanetevieandrew.blogspot.com/. I'm to take the 4th picture of the 4th file on my computer and explain it.

This is Batman standing by the Batmobile at a Comic Show when he was 3 1/2. He's growing out of his costume phase, boooo, I loved that he wore costumes so much and had such an imagination.

I'm tagging Theresa, Stacy, Tracie, Karey and Julie, my Ethiopia adoption buddies!

Historic Night

Whether or not you voted for the guy, it was a historic night. And now, little African-American boys and girls see that they too, can be President. Good stuff.
This was posted by R on our adoption forum:
"Rosa sat so that Martin could walk.
Martin walked so that Barack could run.
Barack ran so that my children might fly."

Stuff that works for me...

Random thoughts on stuff that works for me:

-ERGO baby carrier. It works for the front, back or side. I've carried little ones and big ones in it, super comfortable. It even has a zippered pocket for your wallet.

-Kangaroo bibs. The perfect bib.

-DuraTuff glasses by Libby. I've had these glasses for over 10 years and we've only broken one.

-Longaberger dishes. Ditto, had over 10 yrs, only broken one.

-Allrecipes.com for recipes. Each recipe is rated, so you know if you've got a winner.

-Doubling my recipes. I freeze one and serve one. I always have something in the freezer for a lazy meal or an emergency.

-White towels only. All of our towels match and can be moved between bathrooms.

-Keeping a toiletries travel bag packed at all times for each family member. It makes overnights for the kids easy and lessens packing stress for trips.

-Keeping a dark red washcloth in the first aid box. We use it on kids' booboos, but they can't see the blood on it and calm down.

-Tresemme Moisturizing Curls conditioner for SJ's hair. A cheap, terrific product that we use to wash and style.

-Daily pill boxes, the ones with a compartment for each day. I put the kids' vitamins in them, & can keep track of whether or not they've taken them today. Also, we use them for travel.

-Keeping a shelf by the door for the kids' shoes.

-Low hooks by the door for kids to hang their own coats.

-Fiber One pancake mix, yum. It's not flavored, so I can add bananas or pumpkin or cinnamon to flavor it up.

-Harry & David Pepper Relish. It makes great appetizers, soup, sandwich topping, anything!

-When having company, make sure the trash and dishwasher are empty. People can then help you with cleanup easily.

-Legalzoom.com. Cheap, fully legal wills and other legal documents.

-Keeping a hidden key to the house somewhere outside.

-Valerian. Herbal sleep aid that works for me!

-Avon makeup. Liberal return policy, good product, and cheap.

-Knox County Library website. I can put a book on hold, transfer it to my local branch, and renew materials from home.

-Doubling meals that I'm taking to church/MOPS/etc. If there's a potluck on Sunday, I'll double a recipe, take half to church, keep half at home for dinner that night.

-Homemade healthy popsicles. I can let the kids have a popsicle, they think it's a treat, but they're eating straight fruit, ha!

-Stir Crazy popcorn popper. Best. Popcorn. Period.

-Keeping a pen and notepad by the bed. If I think of something I need to remember, I just jot it down and it's off my mind.

-Nature's Own Double Fiber bread. 5 grams of fiber per slice, woo hoo!

-Probiotics. That's worth a whole post of it's own, but probiotics rock.

-BORAX. Earth friendly cleaner that works very well on any surface, and cheap too!

That's all I can think of now. What works for you?

Quick Funny

When planning for my beach trip, I decided to braid SJ's hair so that SuperDaddy would not have to worry much over it. I'm new at this girl-hair-braiding business, so I did the best I could and let it be. I thought she looked cute.

I got a call from SuperDaddy while on the way to SC. He simply said, "Is her hair supposed to look like this?". I said "Yep, it is, I'll be back on Saturday."

Halloween 2008

Our Halloween party was a blast! Each year, we invite the cousins and the besties over for a party and to trick or treat. Our block is Halloween Party Central, tons of kids out and several neighbors going all out with decorations. The kids had so much fun, and so did the grownups. Say what you will about Halloween and it's origins, but for my kids, Halloween is for costumes, pumpkins, fun family traditions and candy, lots of candy.

1. Auntie Jo with her girls.

2. Blurry picture, rats! The Frog and Ben 10.

3. Axe weilding Fairy Princess, typical Jelly.

4. Most of the kids, can't find our favorite Korean in the pic.

5. My gorgeous children at the pumpkin patch. I could eat them up!

Edisto Beach 2008

Last week, I had the tremendous joy of spending a week at the beach with my best girls. My bestie A, my sister-in-law Jo, SoulSisterM and I spent the week in a sweet little cottage on Edisto Beach, SC. The cottage was RIGHT on the ocean, just 7 steps down to the sand. It had a large porch overlooking the ocean.

Edisto Beach was perfect for this getaway. It's a natural setting, no hotels, no chain restaurants, no crowds, just lots of sand and grass and wildlife. The most people we saw on the beach at once, as far as the eye could see, was 7.

During the week, we

-got to see about 6 dolphins playing in the ocean. We were about 20 yards from them and could see them jumping and flipping, it was amazing. We got to see them up close for about 20 minutes before they swam to deeper water.

-watched the entire North and South miniseries, Sense and Sensibility (BBC edition) and The Office.

-rented bikes and rode around the island.

-went for a kayak tour to a beach covered with shells. SoulSisterM found a molted horseshoe crab to take home to her boys.

-took a nap almost every day.

-ate all of the junk food we don't let our kids see us eat! We classed up the Cheetos and Nutty Bars with a glass of wine though.

-went to lots of thrift stores and yard sales. Yes, even on vacation, we go junkin'!

-laughed and laughed and laughed.

-went in to Charleston to walk around and to go to a Donna the Buffalo concert. These old ladies boogied til 2 am!

-talked and talked and talked.

-stayed in our jammies all day on Tuesday and on Friday. We even went for walks on the beach in our jammies.

-went to a super little cafe for lunch, Main's Cafe, and had tomato pie.

-bought local produce from George and Pinks, the tomatoes and corn were fantastic.

-ate shrimp for lunch that had been caught that morning, dipped in butter, yum.

-kept thanking God for our blessings and His creation.

-kept thanking our husbands for being such great fellas. Every time one of us talked to our kids, the kids would say how much fun they were having with their Daddies!

We had an amazing trip, the cottage, the beach, the weather, and best of all, my favorite girls.

I've Been Tagged!

This post is not finished as I can't figure links out! Tomorrow, I'll get someone to help and finish the post correctly.
My sweet adoption buddy, KAREY, tagged me; so here goes:
1. I ate my pet cat Louie. I grew up in Ghana, Africa, and Mr. M, my mother's househelper, was asked to get rid of the cat because he meowed constantly. Mom didn't think about Mr. M's tribe being "cat eaters", and he innocently prepared the cat for dinner. We didn't know it was the cat until a little later, calm down.
2. I played Bible Bowl all through my high school years. It's basically a quick quiz game based on Bible knowledge. Our team did ok in competition, but we had sooooo much fun we didn't care.
3. All through college, I worked as a lifeguard. Piece of cake job as the supervisor let me pick my own hours. So, lazy bones that I am, picked the morning shifts so the pool was empty most of the time and I got paid to study.
4. I got married at Park West Hospital. SuperDaddy's dad was a patient there when we decided to "elope", so we met our minister there one afternoon and got hitched. My parents were there too, but we couldn't track down his mom. Oooops, she said we were forgiven when she got a grandchild. She didn't know she would be waiting 8 years for our little B to come!
5. I worked for 3 years as a Personal Organizer. You'd never know it now that the kids have sucked out my brain cells!
6. I love to listen to the radio shows on NPR on Saturday morning. I don't always get to, (due to the aforementioned brain cell suckers) but love to listen and laugh too loudly.
7. I love, love, love to travel. Even overnight business trips to a nearby city with husband thrill me. So a week in Ethiopia was heaven, not to mention getting our amazing girl. :) When we retire, we want to travel the world, the dream travel list is getting long.

Quick Funny and Update

SJ's latest cute saying:
When I went on my recent trip to Louisville, I brought back injera (Ethiopian bread from a restaurant there) and cooked up some lentil stew for dinner when I got home. Yesterday, Daddy went on a business trip, we told SJ he was going. Her response, "Yay! Daddy bring Opia food for SJ!" Apparantly anyone travelling must return with injera, you've been warned.
Must brag:
SJ, who did not speak a word of English 5 months ago, can now recognize some written letters and can sound out most letters. Her highly verbal brother has come in handy!
Update on whining about motherhood:
We have gotten our little guy back within decent limits of behavior. I've taken steps to be more firm, not allow negotiation and to spend lots more 1 on 1 time with B. He will always be a challenge to me, but it's definitely more fun being his mom when we're not fighting all day! B also started karate classes. In just 2 classes, I can already see an improvement in listening and maturity.

Reunion with MD

Thanks to the wonder that is Facebook, my dearest friend from college found me after an 11 year hiatus. MD and I lived together for almost 4 years and were inseperable, she's a huge part of my story. MD & I agreed to meet about halfway between our towns this past weekend. We had so much fun catching up, laughing, and sharing how we've changed and struggled over the years.

We did a little thrift store shopping, lots of good eating (including Ethiopian food, German food and Black Forest cake), relaxed in the hot tub, caught up on sleep, enjoyed ice wines, and talked for hours. MD's little brother (who's not little anymore, he's a handsome fella sporting gorgeous hair) also visited on Saturday evening. It was terrific to catch up with SD too, what a super guy he is.

The kids did well during my absence, they stayed with Mamaw and Papaw one night so SuperDaddy could work late, then SuperDaddy had them the remaining time. The kids were excited to see me, so sweet. I'm very thankful that SuperDaddy encouraged me to go and did such a great job with the kids.

I am so thankful that my friend is back, in several ways.

Motherhood...

is hard.

It's been an especially tough week, I've lost my temper several times and have needed lots of support to get back to the joy of mothering.
B is a talkative fella, extremely smart and his motor is constantly running. Couple his high activity level with too much backtalking and disobedience, and I was at my end. My dear friend, SoulSisterM, listened to me cry and helped me gain perspective and enthusiasm for keeping on. Later in the evening, SuperDaddy took over parenting duties as soon as he got home from work. I was emotionally spent and physically worn out. I called my Dad (who is also a SuperDaddy) asking for help from him and my mom the following afternoon.
With the support of friends and family who were kind enough to listen to me whine and make great suggestions, SuperDaddy and I made some adjustments to our rules and procedures to get our little guy back on track. I'm also making a more concerted effort to spend quality one-on-one time with B. With a 3 yr old in the house and B in school, it's a little tricky!


I am reminded
-how much I rely on friends and family in the tough times. And how reliable they are, amazing.
-that I'm a better mom when I take care of myself and take little breaks from mothering.
-that I am still learning how to mother 2 kids.
-that these children are so special, even in the hard times.
-that SuperDaddy and I make a pretty good team.

-that this is my highest calling, to be B and SJ's mom. God entrusted them to ME, He has a plan for us.

Music Lover

I'm a huge fan of Donna the Buffalo and am thrilled that my daughter loves them too! She asks often to play "Matt Music" and dances and dances. It's so touching that we can dance and bond to our favorite music. "Matt Music" is because she first noticed DTB while on the party boat when Mr Matt was driving.

Check out Ethiopian Batgirl dancin'!

"I never expected to be loved by you." -Donna the Buffalo

"It all comes together in a family picture and every wall's got room for that." -Donna the Buffalo

http://donnathebuffalo.com/

Bonus: My girlfriends and I are taking a beach trip in October. DTB is playing at a club in Charleston while we're there! We're so excited!

East TN Ethiopian Families Enktatush Party

This past weekend, we attended an Ethiopian New Year party with our East TN Ethiopian families. We had 14 families and 58 people attend! Families drove in from the TriCities and Nashville, and many local yokels too. L brought injera and 3 of us made Ethiopian stews to serve, the food was FABULOUS! And it brought me such joy to see Rusie and SJ eating happily the food of their home country. Thanks so much to the Casa de Chaos for hosting us!

Some of these families are already home with their children, some are waiting for referral, some are paperchasing, and some are in the beginning stages. It is amazing how much this group has grown! And what a blessing it is to share the journey with other families, to support each other in the hard times, to share the joy of adoption, and to marvel at the gift of these children.