B's 6th Birthday!

Our boy B celebrated his 6th birthday last weekend. He asked for a Ben 10 party, wanted to build aliens, and to have a party at home. We had a terrific day with all of the cousins, B's best buds, and a couple of fellas from school. Later in the evening, all of the grandparents came over for pizza and presents.

B also received his first pet, a hermit crab from Auntie Anna. He has named him Gilbert and woke up in the middle of the night to check on him!

In honor of B's SIXTH birthday, SIX things we love about B:

1. Creativity. This boy thinks outside the box and we love that. It's fun to see his creations and dramatizations.

2. Sensitivity. B is a caring, sensitive soul. Seeing others hurting makes B sad, he feels deeply for others.

3. Energy. Although his energy often wears Mama out, it's great that he can GO and GO. Our daytrips and outings are so much more fun with an energetic guy. One day his high energy level will serve this world well...

4. Smarts. We love that B has started reading on his own and is reading for fun. He lays in bed reading until he falls asleep each night. His current favorite is Calvin & Hobbes, recommended to him by his cousin BB. B enjoys reading about a topic he is interested in, he soaks up all of the information he can.

5. His love of the outdoors. B loves to be outside, especially with SuperDaddy. They ski, disc golf, shoot bows and arrows, hike, and swim. Mama likes that her high energy guys can work off some that legendary energy!

6. His love for his sister. B is so proud of his sister and her heritage. He often wants to take SJ's mementos to school for show and tell, her flags, her baby book, sister herself! If he sees someone checking out our family, B says proudly, "This is my sister SJ, she was born in Ethiopia". B watches out for her and has so much fun playing with his sister.

Random Rants and Raves

Rant: To all the flaky people-you're not cute, you're not funny, and someone is having to pick up your slack.

Rave: MOPS!!! I've said it so many times, but my Mothers Of PreSchoolers group is phenomenal. We had an especially heart wrenching, tearful group this last week, loving and supporting each other through some hard times. Sometimes just venting your worries and hearing that you are not alone is all a mom needs.

Rave: The internet. This week, our local Ethiopian adoption community was able to reconnect Ethiopian children placed for adoption with a family in Denmark with their birth cousins living in Nashville. A few easy emails and the family was found and addresses shared, but a huge impact for these children.

Rant: Disney fairy tale movies. I've never been a big fan of the princess fairy tale movies from Disney, I know, bah humbug. It has bothered me that the pretty girl is nice, she has problems, a handsome prince appears and fixes her problems and they live happily ever after. Disney is releasing it's first movie with an African American character in Dec 09, the Frog Princess. I'm excited to finally have an AA character, and the accompanying licensed toys, but hope hope hope she is a strong character. Please Disney, let the Frog Princess either fix her own problems or at least work with the handsome Prince. Just this once, please.

Rave: saving $$$$. Our driveway gates have been broken and needed to be fixed. Estimates to replace them STARTED at $8000. A friend recommended getting the gate welded, which we hadn't thought of. One welder finally agreed to fix the gates, made new hinges and finials, and charged $380.

New Year's Eve and Dollywood

We celebrated the coming of the New Year with sparklers and small fireworks in our driveway. Mama was a nervous wreck, but we were very careful and the kids had fun. 2008 was an eventful year at The Coffey House with the coming of our SJ, 2009 can only get better!

On Saturday we went to Dollywood with Uncle D and Auntie Jo, Tita and the kids. It was sprinkling rain on and off, so it was not crowded but still warm enough to have a great time. Jelly and SJ rode every ride they were big enough for, these girls LOVE rides! B and BB (the boys) went off with SuperDaddy and Uncle D to ride bigger rides. We had a yummy supper together of sausages and onions and chili cheese fries and our first funnel cake. Dollywood has added several BIG coasters, so the grownups were able to take turns watching the kids and going on rides. It was a terrific day, and most of the kids fell asleep in the car on the way home. Tita, Auntie Jo's sister, was visiting for most of her Christmas break from college. BB and Jelly got to spend lots of time with their Tita, super special. That's her wearing plaid in the teacup beside Auntie Jo.

We've had a fun time celebrating the holidays and spending time together. We have some fun trips planned for the next few months, a ski trip and one to the beach. Stay tuned...

East TN Ethiopian Adoptive Families Potluck!

You are invited to join us for a Potluck Lunch on Saturday, January 31st from noon to 4pm at Cornerstone Christian Church. http://www.cccknoxville.com/

We welcome any family interested in Ethiopian adoption, or paperchasing, or waiting, or home with their children. We meet together to support each other in adoption joys and challenges, daily parenting, and mostly to celebrate the birth culture of our precious children.

There is a full kitchen available, bathrooms, changing tables, plenty of toys and running room, and a playground.

Please email me or contact me on Facebook if you need additional information.

I can't wait to see you all again!

Christmas 2008

We have had a terrific Christmas season, celebrating the birth of Christ, and celebrating with our SJ for the first time.

SJ knows what birthday parties and presents are, so she has picked up easily on the concept of Christmas as Jesus' birthday. We did get a strange look from her when SuperDaddy brought the Christmas tree in, that one didn't make sense to her at all! But she quickly joined in the fun and has enjoyed the traditions.

B has enjoyed the creative ways to celebrate, making a gingerbread house, seeing the various Christmas lights the neighbors put up, and helping Mama wrap presents.

Christmas Day brought fun gifts, ALL of the family and several friends over for the day. B's favorite presents were his Indiana Jones toys and his Karate Kid headband. SJ has enjoyed her Backyardigan toys and Wonderpet figures. We had our traditional delicious meal including Ethiopian and Filipino foods. The grandchildren blew out the candles on our Happy Birthday Jesus cake. We took a long walk, exchanged gifts, played Monopoly, and spent the whole day relaxing and talking together.

It has been a terrific time of reflecting on the gift of Jesus and the blessings our family has received this past year. We are especially thankful to have our SJ home this year. God is good.

Because They're Cute

The kids playing together nicely, I enjoyed it while it lasted!

Learning About SJ's Hair

Part of becoming SJ's mommy means I get to learn more about African American haircare. I did research and talked with friends before her arrival, but nothing beats hands-on learning! There's alot of talk about hair on the adoption forums and among transracial adoptive parents. I just want to say, calm down, it's just hair, same as yours- only curlier.

Things to remember:

-every child's hair is different, find what works for your child with experience

-it takes some time to get the hang of it, that's ok

-it takes a while to do a style (45 mins or more), but once it's in, it may last up to a week.

-you don't have to spend lots of $ to have healthy hair, you can if you want, but not required

-ask for help from your AA friends. I've got a friend coming over to help me learn to braid rows and put in beads, I haven't learned those skills yet.

-find what works for your child to sit still long enough for hair time. For SJ, it's Dora shows and Tootsie Rolls.

-keep hair time fun and pleasant, if it's a crying struggle, it'll just get worse next time. If they get to watch TV, eat candy, hang out with a happy mom, hair time is a good time!

What works for us:

Bathtime:

We wash hair about 2x/week, but with conditioner- no shampoo, that's right, no shampoo. We use Tressemme Flawless Curls. It's cheap, smells great, and works well. I put lots of conditioner in her wet hair, and comb it through, leave the conditioner on for the rest of bathtime, then rinse lightly, leaving quite a bit of the conditioner still in the hair when she gets out.

Daily Styling:

Loose hair-I also use the Tressemme Flawless Curls for styling. I spray her hair with water, rub conditioner on my hands, then finger comb it through her hair, I then comb it out with a pick. Loose hair (for SJ) is only good for a day or two, it gets waaaay too tangly and takes a long time to comb out.

Styled hair (braids, twists, puffs...)- Still with the Tressemme. I spray her hair with water, then put a little conditioner on my hands to touch up the style.

Swimming:

For swimming in chlorinated water, I have her wear a swim cap. If it's salt water or the lake, her hair actually feels healthier when she gets out.

Sleeping:

I have sleeping caps (actually stretchy textbook covers, they work perfectly and I got them at Goodwill for 17 cents) that she wears when she's got a style in. It makes the style last longer. She also sleeps on a satin pillowcase, it hasn't seemed to help us much, but might work for you.

All in all, it's been an interesting learning experience. I've enjoyed finding new styles, looking at other little AA girls to get ideas, and seeing SJ's face when she looks in the mirror at the finished style. She just lights up and is so cute!

Our supplies (pictured):

beads

wire to thread beads

barrettes

rubber bands, the ouchless ones

spray bottle

rattail comb to make parts

wide tooth comb

scissors to cut out rubber bands, easier and faster and less tangles that way.